"Another dream that will never come true, just to complement your sorrow.
another life that I've taken from you, a gift to add on to your pain and
suffering....."
Major
Event: July 21, 2000:
We'll
start out this section with a Major Even of minor importance - or so it would
seam. Around 21 July 2000, my birthday, I received a phone call from my
Uncle Richard Holding. This was unusual, since I had not talked to him in
several years. He called to inform me that the County Coroner of a town in
Georgia was trying to get a hold of me. After contacting the Coroner, he
informed me that John Cole Holding had died of a ruptured aorta on June
25th. Needless to say, the body wasn't worth embalming.
Early in my life, John had "wandered" away from the family to become
the black sheep. He had decided that he wanted to live his own life
regardless of what the family wanted; thus, he was emancipated and went his own
way. John left definite marks and scares on my life, as well as
others. His passing all seemed like a relief for many people, but as
time lingers on, I still feel like I'm missing something.
I started working on my Masters of Telecommunications Management in June 2001. I
did full-time in my first term - WOW! I concentrated my term project for both
courses (Organizational Behavior and Managing Change) on my work in Assessment at DeVry.
Major
Event: Septermber 11, 2001:
Today, America fell under attack and the rist war of the 21st
century started. The picture to the right, shows heros of this new war and provides
a link to a tribute to thoese whos lives were lost in the initial attack. The World
has changed and we are all trying to make sence of it.
Major Event: October 22, 2001: My Aunt Helen passed away.
My
Mom (Justine Holding) and I acquired the small rental business when Helen past away. Mom is the executive of the estate and I became the general
manager. I will be in Fort Scott a lot organizing the business and conducting rehab
for the properties. We are looking at several issues and concerns for repairs as we
turn the properties and business over during the next year working with JMH Properties.
Around
March 2002, DeVry Institute of Technology and Keller Graduate School of
Management received permission from North Central to merge as a single
university; thus, I am now an Associate Professor at DeVry University.
I also received a nomination for Who's Who Among America's Teachers.
During
this time, when things seem to be looking up, I've come to realize and remember
the lost loves of my life that have encouraged me.
Major Event: First House.
June 2002, I traded my 1999 Ford Expedition SUV for a 2002 Chevrolet Monte Carlo
SS, shaved my head, and closed on a house located in Kansas City with a 30 year
mortgage. Robert Tucker Jr. and I decided to take on the move and
responsibilities together. During the Summer break from DeVry, I'll
be in Fort Scott helping Mom during her knee replacement. I'll also be endeavoring
very hard to complete a rework of the Wide Area Networking Technology Course.
Major Event:
Mom's Passing.
During the first school break of 2002 (Spring to Summer) Mom was scheduled to
have knee replacement surgery, but the doctors had to wait until they had a
better picture of her heart. We wound up at St. John's Regional Medical Center
in Joplin Missouri where the doctors were telling us that she had two values
failing and all four arteries were more than 90% clogged. It was a miracle Mom
was still with us. She had been getting very short of breath lately and
had passed out a few times.
Wanting to be independent as much as she could, she choose to take the risk
of the surgery.
"Were I to draw you a
picture of love divine, it would not be that of
A Stately angel
With a form that is full of grace,
But a tired and toil-worn mother
With a grave and tender face.
It was your mother who loved you before you were born -- who carried you
for long months close to her heart and in the fullness of time took God's
hand in hers and passed through the valley of shadows to give you
life. It was she who cared for you during the helpless years of
infancy and the scarcely less dependent years of childhood. As you
have grown less dependent, she has done the countless, thoughtful,
trouble-healing, helpful and encouraging things which somehow only mothers
seem to know how to do. You may have accepted these attentions more or
less as matters of course and perhaps without conscious gratitude or any
expressions of your appreciation. You are rapidly approaching the time
in life when you will be entirely independent of your mother. The ties
with which dependency have bound you to her may be severed as you grow
older, but the tie of mother love can never be broken."
In 1962, I was adopted by a wonderful couple, my Mom and
Dad. I was their second son, and
Mom always let me know that from the instant she saw me – she knew she wanted
me. She also told me that I was the
perfect little baby: sleeping right through the night till morning – unlike my
older brother.
I learned a lot from my parents, really, an innumerable
amount. One thing I know is it
takes a great deal more to be a Mom and Dad.
I’ve come to understand profoundly what they mean when they say: anyone
can father or mother a child, but it takes someone special to be a Mom or Dad
for that child.
I grew up with my chosen family, and I’ve met my genetic
family. I can thank God that my
success in life is solely shaped by my chosen family.
My earliest memories of Death are of my Grandma Mayberry, I remember it
as a long event as a young confused child.
Then rapidly, there were the accidental deaths of Grandma and Grandpa
Holding. It came late one night and
the news scared me more than any monster that could live in my closets or under
my bed. Death was a frightening
thing then. I became more aware of
this tragic event as I aged, and grew under the care of my parents.
They say that you don’t appreciate something unless you
have to work for it or until it’s gone. Death
never really scared me again; I though I understood it better from all that
education and church going. But it
did finally hurt me again. In 1987,
while I was in the Navy, my Dad was devastated by cancer.
After the anger and tears, I began to realize that even though Dad was
physically gone, he was home in a better place with his chosen family in Christ
Jesus. But most importantly, I
could still hear him. His values, teachings, and his upbringing live on in me. And
yes, sometimes when I’m thinking about what I should do, or even just talking
with myself – I can hear his voice and the advice he use to give me.
Now that Mom has gone to join Dad, I’ll still hear her too.
Death is still painful to us, the living that are left behind
in this world; forced to carry on without the physical presents of the ones we
love and cherish so much. It is at
this time that we become more painfully aware of all the little things that kept
us from spending more time with the ones we now miss.
I will miss my family very much and it will be painful for some time;
however, I know that I will continue to hear from them.
After all, I am the reflection of their upbringing and she told me often,
that she was very proud of me. And
that’s only because they both did a good job.
The Lord may give, and the Lord may
take,
and who knows from where the cold winds may blow.
But in the end, it is the warm family love
that will keep us from falling too far below
Major Event: Estate Manager.
With Mom's passing, I became the executor of the remaining estate, which she
just inherited October 2001 from Helen. The business is already in a
"spin" but making good headway. All I need now is a solid
business plan and time to regroup.
DeVry Employee Self Evaluation & Supervisor Review for 2003
Next page: from the frying pan
to the fire
Major
Event: July 21, 2000:
We'll
start out this section with a Major Even of minor importance - or so it would
seam. Around 21 July 2000, my birthday, I received a phone call from my
Uncle Richard Holding. This was unusual, since I had not talked to him in
several years. He called to inform me that the County Coroner of a town in
Georgia was trying to get a hold of me. After contacting the Coroner, he
informed me that John Cole Holding had died of a ruptured aorta on June
25th. Needless to say, the body wasn't worth embalming.
Early in my life, John had "wandered" away from the family to become
the black sheep. He had decided that he wanted to live his own life
regardless of what the family wanted; thus, he was emancipated and went his own
way. John left definite marks and scares on my life, as well as
others. His passing all seemed like a relief for many people, but as
time lingers on, I still feel like I'm missing something.
