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How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked
car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow
down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your
voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries
with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and
label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten
over
their caffeine addictions, switch to
espresso.
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don’t use any punctuation
marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than
walk.
10. Ask ! people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to
go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your
work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds
all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your
friends you can't ! attend their party
because you're not in the
mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you
by your wrestling name, Rock Hard
Kim.
17. When
the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won, I won! 3rd time
this
week!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot yelling,
"Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell
your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let
one of you go."
And the fina! l way to keep a healthy level of
insanity...
20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your
address book, even if they sent it
to you or asked you not to send them stuff
like this.