Mattel Has Announced The Release of Limited
Edition Barbie Dolls for the Kansas City Market

Plaza Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Saks Fifth Avenue. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Mercedes, a lap-dog and a mansion. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a workaholic Ken.

Overland Park Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar mini-van, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.

Jackson County Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a Meth Lab Ken. Also available in a Mexican version.

Johnson County Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.

Wyandotte County Barbie: This Barbie comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A pickup truck is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Westport Barbie: This Barbie actually comes in two variations. One has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. The other version has frizzy hair, a dingy white tanktop, low cut jeans and scratch-n-sniff armpits.

Platte County Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can' t wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure without ! b reaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer-gutted, hollow gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back, a white barely-there see-through shirt Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, rusty old Ford pick up.

NOTE: They are working on developing a "Northeast KC Barbie", but she keeps getting shot.